#Our#family#always#lived not richly. The most luxurious holiday that we could afford is a cheap sanatorium in a nearby small town for 2 #weeks. As soon as I turned 8, my dad started having serious health problems. Life-saving drugs + surgery. He couldn't work anymore. Since that time, the care of 3 children of school age fell on his shoulders. Mom worked 3 jobs. I remember as a child, it was a shame to ask for toys. As winter came and the boots were small. Spent the entire winter sick with crooked fingers. I was afraid if I buy shoes, there will be nothing to live on. Brother with the sister waged themselves more adequately, but, too, not suit hysterics due to lack of toys and other things. Why was I acting like this? I don't know. Our #parents never hurt us, never denied us as much as possible and financially. But, I felt guilty about spending money on me. On clothes, food, gifts for birthday, nasal drops, etc. in 9 Years, the new year, wrote a letter to Santa Claus (Yes, I know that it does not exist) with the request that I gift not away, for I behaved badly. Mother began to cry. In the end, I was given a huge doll, I portrayed the greatest joy, and then cried two nights because of the fact that I spent so much money. Barely out of high school, got into College on a budget. In parallel, moonlighting. Handing out leaflets, walking dogs, sewing, sitting with children. Brother and sister did the same thing. No, our parents did not even hint that we need to earn something. We decided that. Money became slightly more. Was able to buy a new laptop, to replace the old computer with a huge curved monitor. Made home repairs. He then entered the University on a contract. You know, I could not work on a human schedule. Morning couples, day and night-work. Sitting in the night shift, taught lectures, parallel painted to order essays/term papers, dozing, running through the branches, and in the morning to school. On weekends, too, on a change of. "Retire to sleep" was my motto at the time. My family saw me a couple of times a week and then late at night. It was hard. Saved the fact that it was not necessary to rent an apartment. Most of the earnings went to pay for the University, the rest-in the house (food, medicine). Mom went on 1 job, because health is not allowed to work for 3. Sister married, gave birth to. Brother in the army. Medicines are getting more expensive. Money is sorely lacking. Dad works as a Concierge. Then everything is normalized for 2 years. The sister goes to work, her husband gets a promotion. Brother gets a job in security. I'm going to a private clinic. Dad canceled the half of the drug. My mother is offered a job with a smaller load and a higher salary. Parents give birth to a cat. Then follows the most terrible year. My #sister falls ill in gynecology, is 4 months in the hospital. Brother falls badly and breaks his leg with an offset that affects the nerve. Dad needs 2 surgeries. I have problems with wisdom teeth (4 teeth had to be removed. First, I'm allergic to pain - dropped from angioedema. Then remove 1 tooth and bring the infection. I'm on antibiotics. And a lot of associated problems with these teeth). In the end, the 3 months spent at the hospital. At the end of the year, the office in which my mother worked, is closed. She's out of a job. There was no money at all. Ate oatmeal with bread. #Good, helped my sister's husband and his parents, although the money is not there. In March-April of the next year, everything is gradually being settled. And found work, and treated, and debts distributed. Even clothes not on second-hand buy, and in the market. Now the kids are all grown up. #Recently chipped in and sent parents abroad to rest. Turns out mom doesn't even have a bathing suit. #She was last on the beach about 20 years ago. No, we didn't get very rich. We are still saving money to buy a winter jacket. We plan expenses and think that it is not necessary to spend money on a trip to a restaurant. Buckwheat is also delicious. While saving up for a trip, largely denied. But it was worth it. When my parents took a photo of them in a beautiful room with a sea view, drinking wine and relaxing, I finally let go. Disappeared a guilt complex left over from childhood and is deeply entrenched in the subconscious. I realized that life is really getting better.